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This Haas to be the deal of the century

17 JULY. Norfolk. We can today exclusively reveal, that following the Rich Energy debacle, an exciting new sponsor is about to approach the Haas F1 team.

While it appears that Rich Energy have self-imploded and hope to be reborn as Lightning Volt, Norfolk chicken farmer Kenneth Dinkle reckons he can beat them to securing a deal with Haas in time to be on the cars for the upcoming German Grand Prix.

Kenneth spoke to us earlier today:

We have an exciting and ambitious plan to expand our small chicken farm just outside Norwich, into a worldwide franchise, selling fried chicken, with a secret recipe for the coating, with the hope of reaching global domination in the fried chicken market within six months

Artist impression of how Kenny’s Fried Chicken will look

He went on:

We will sell the chicken in something eye-catching and new, like striped buckets, of which we have already made 90 million and to give it a home food feel, our logo will feature a kindly looking old gentleman with a beard, we’ll call him Admiral Flanders or something like that

Kenneth has yet to put his idea to Haas but given the fact William Storey convinced them to take him on, industry analysts reckon he has a good chance of getting the title sponsor deal.