01 JUL. London. An F1 race steward is reported today to be locked in a never-ending debate with himself, following an incident while having breakfast with his wife this morning.
The steward, Roger Sponge, Head of the East Pimlico Motorsport Association, was having breakfast when his wife decided to add an extra sausage to her already full plate, thus pushing a rasher of bacon off the other side and onto the table. The bacon was quickly retrieved and put back in place but Mr Sponge immediately declared that the incident would be investigated after breakfast.
Mrs Sponge told our reporter:
“After breakfast he went straight to his office to deliberate the matter and he has been locked in there for the last four hours with no sign yet of any decision”
She went on:
“I told him no harm was done but he said there could be a case of the sausage deliberately causing a collision and forcing the bacon off the plate, while it could be that the bacon exceeded plate limits before rejoining in a potentially dangerous manner”
There was still no decision as we went to press. Potential punishments for Mrs Sponge could be 10 seconds added to her next breakfast or possibly even a full disqualification.