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Some cars about to not entertain you

13 MAY. Barcelona. Following analysis, Sunday’s Spanish Grand Prix has been calculated as the most boring ever in the country, which given the yardstick of previous processions here, is somewhat impressive.

Dr Estrella Galicia, of the Institute of Spanish Motorsport, says that in comparison with previous yawn-fests at the Circuit de Barcelona-Catalunya this one was especially mind-numbing in its relentless tedium.

Writing in El Mondo he said:

There have been some really boring races here in the past but we feel that extra effort was made to make this one top of the pile. As this is likely to be the last race here, we think it a nice gesture by all concerned to make it memorable purely down to how unbelievably rubbish it was“.

He added:

In recent years, fans have at least had a vague interest in when and where Fernando Alonso will break down but this year they didn’t even have that smallest of pleasures“.

Indeed, reports came in of strange goings on in the country during Sunday afternoon, with one man painting his house, simply so he could watch it dry, while in Seville, one TV viewer actually slipped into a coma and has yet to revive.

When the report was shown to Mercedes boss Toto Wolff, he said that it had been yet another tough weekend for the team, the car was still difficult to drive and it was a real struggle, etc, etc.