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PANIC AS IT IS NOTICED NOTHING IS HAPPENING IN F1

Quick! Make something up!

23 APR. F1 news outlets are in the middle of a crisis, as it has been found that there has been nothing to report on since the Chinese Grand Prix.

Despite being three races in to the new season, it appears that publications have already run out of things to write about, which does not bode well for the rest of the season.

F1 media analyst, Tarquin Laxton, told us this morning:

The first three races were a bit dull, in fact, other than Mercedes walking it while Ferrari continue to find new ways to lose, it is difficult to remember anything of note about them

He went on:

Now usually this wouldn’t be a problem as there is always other stuff going on to fill websites and give them something to tweet about but this year there is nothing, not even any way of endlessly speculating about what Fernando Alonso may or may not be thinking of doing

Things got so bad last week that several websites, feeling the urge to say anything, no matter how pointless, ran the same non-story several times each about how Toto Wolff hadn’t got Max Verstappen’s ‘phone number.

The situation is so serious, that even Jacques Villeneuve has run out of things to venture an opinion on.

It is hoped something happens soon, hopefully Lewis Hamilton will go hang-gliding with Rihanna or something, otherwise it is only a matter of time before we start hearing about Audi planning to enter F1 or that we’ll soon be having a London Grand Prix.

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