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MERC ‘INSIDER’ SORT OF CONFIRMS CAR SABOTAGE

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18 MAR. This site can exclusively reveal, that following Valtteri Bottas’s superb win for Mercedes at the Australian Grand Prix, that we have been contacted by a whistleblower at the team, with allegations of sabotage against Lewis Hamilton.

Indeed, immediately after the chequered flag had fallen, claims that Mercedes were intentionally nobbling a driver they pay a fortune to, began to surface on social media.

Our informant, who declined to give his name but said he was somebody ‘really important at Mercedes’ told us:

It may seem odd that they will spend the thick end of two years, thousands of man hours at great cost designing and building a car, to then fly it to the other side of the planet to then sabotage it but that is just what they do.”

He added, in a hushed, self-important tone:

All that effort is just part of the subterfuge. The boffins at Brackley, who are all in on the scam by the way, are so smart that they can sabotage the car just enough so that it can’t win but will still finish second, a good twenty seconds ahead of the next car. Clever. Very clever

Oddly, it is only Mercedes who get the conspiracy theorists all of a lather, though most agree that some, like Ferrari for example, can be a bit useless without the need for sabotage.

When we asked the caller to elaborate precisely on where he worked within Mercedes, he said he had to hang up as his Mum was downstairs calling him for his tea and that he’d give us a call tomorrow after school.

We asked Mercedes for a comment on the conspiracy theory but they were too busy rolling their eyes to respond.

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