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15 MAR. According to a report published today on the Professional Motorsport World website, McLaren and a tech company called MindMaze, are planning to use ‘mind-reading’ technology on Fernando Alonso at the Indianapolis 500.

Actually, when the article is read in full, it would seem that the ELVIRA device is more to do with driver safety in the event of a shunt but the ‘mind-reading’ headline grabber has apparently encouraged the technical wizards at McLaren to look into this further.

A source in Woking said to us today:

Sure, the device is about driver safety, which is the important thing, but imagine if we could really read Fernando’s mind? If we can do that, then the technology must be there to enhance the use of the machine even further“.

He went on:

We are looking at a CTRL-ALT-DEL option, where if the car goes bang and Fernando throws a massive hissy fit, we can, before he gets back to the garage, reset him back to the happy mood he was in when he left the pits”.

Boffins at Woking said to be working on a prototype mind reader.

“We will also be able to tell if he is thinking of having a good old moan on the radio and will be able to alter his comments into cheerful ones at the flick of a switch. The benefits for all in the team are clear to see“.

Fernando, Indy deep end…