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Posts Tagged ‘Red Bull’

Michael Schumacher wins something!

Michael Schumacher wins something!

Despite having had a pretty anonymous year behind the wheel in F1, Michael Schumacher has apparently done enough to warrant being given the ‘German Man of the Year’ award by GQ Magazine.

Schumacher picked up the trophy, the only one he… has been near all year, at a glittering ceremony in Berlin last night.

However, there were some who thought that if anybody deserved the award it should be Red Bull’s young charger Sebastian Vettel but the GQ judges were keen to justify their decision.

Said one; “Schumacher is definitely a GQ type, he is in his forties, married with children and drives a company Mercedes – not very quickly” He went on, “However, Vettel is really more of a ‘Loaded’ kind of guy and he doesn’t have a dinner suit so we could not choose him”.

We are sure that the fact that Mercedes sponsored the ceremony had NOTHING to do with Schumacher winning the award.

Pirelli to take on Sebastian Vettel as an advisor?

Pirelli to take on Sebastian Vettel as an advisor?

While walking the new Korean Grand Prix track on Thursday, Red Bull driver Sebastian Vettel picked up a great big nail and reported back to German newspaper, Bild;  “If you drive over that you’ll get a puncture”.

Pirelli are now… reported to be keen on having Vettel advise them in 2011 telling us today that; “Insight like that is invaluable, we’d have him on board any day”.

Vettel’s Spa disaster explained

Vettel’s Spa disaster explained

Concerned that their Number One driver, Sebastian Vettel, had such a shocking race at the Belgium Grand Prix, Red Bull staff decided to run a series of tests, on both driver and car and have found what they think may… be the problem.

Team analyst, Dr Wolfgang von Knacks, told Grand Prix Diary today that after extensive examinations, he had discovered that under excessive braking, as experienced at circuits such as Spa and Istanbul, that Vettel’s brain was flexing more than usual and was switching itself off.

Dr von Knacks explained, “Under race conditions Vettel’s noggin is flexing more than the allowed amount and to avoid a total meltdown the brain goes into ‘safe mode’ for a few seconds which is when he is liable to smack into whichever poor sod he happens to be next to at the time”.

Red Bull’s technical guru, Adrian Newey, has promised to upgrade Vettel’s brain in time for the Italian Grand Prix in two weeks time.

Webber to give Vettel a leg-up in Hockenheim

Webber to give Vettel a leg-up in Hockenheim

Sebastian Vettel’s German GP week did not get off to the best of starts, when he injured a leg while out training. However, Vettel was reassured when Red Bull boss, Christian Horner, said he could use one of Mark Webbers.

Webber does it again!

Webber does it again!

As if his troubles in Valencia were not enough, Mark Webber was this morning involved in a spectacular 30mph shunt, when he ran into the back of a London bus in Westminster.

Webber was slipstreaming the No 47 to Marylebone… hoping to get past it before the next set of traffic lights when he misjudged the closing speed between his car and the double decker, ploughing into the back of it.

The bus driver, Steve Hull, 59, defended himself saying he had position and that Webber probably just missed his braking point.

Again.

Picture @RedBullSpy

McLaren find way to nail Red Bull in 2011?

McLaren find way to nail Red Bull in 2011?

During initial tests of his 2011 car, Jenson Button is said to be thrilled with the innovative, totally invisible MP4-26.

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Adrian Newey designs new F1 charger for Sebastian Vettel

Adrian Newey designs new F1 charger for Sebastian Vettel

Next time he comes across Mark Webber on the race track, Sebastian can just fly over the top, rather than smack into the side of him.

Red Bull Turkey shunt explained

Red Bull Turkey shunt explained

Red Bull engineer’s have discovered what caused the embarrassing collision between Mark Webber and Sebastian Vettel while the two were cruising to a 1-2 finish in Sunday’s race.

On board footage show’s Vettel’s car, Randy Mandy, suddenly and unexpectedly turning in… on Webbers motor, Bruce. 

At first the blame was  laid at Sebastian’s door but detailed analysis of Mandy’s telemetry shows that it is actually her time of the month and she was in a foul mood with Bruce, who like all men in such a situation, was blissfully unaware of this until Mandy ‘went off on one’.

Said a Red Bull team member, “We looked at the data on Mandy and discovered that Liverpool were playing at home and that earlier in the week Bruce had left the toilet seat up, this was simmering with her until lap 41 of the Turkish Grand Prix when she finally exploded, giving poor old Bruce both barrels.”

The team are confident that Mandy will be randy again in time for the Canadian round in two weeks time and normal service will be resumed.

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