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Posts Tagged ‘Pedro de la Rosa’

Why Sauber just had to have Nick Heidfeld back

Why Sauber just had to have Nick Heidfeld back

Sauber, who have in their time brought great finds like Kimi Raikkonen, Felipe Massa and Norberto Fontana to F1, today sacked the average but well experienced Pedro de la Rosa and replaced him with the average but well experienced Nick Heidfeld.

Germany’s… most famous beardie, who made his F1 debut a long time ago with a team we can’t remember, has entered 169 Grand Prix and when he first came on the scene he was given the nickname ‘Quick Nick’. This was replaced though from the 2000 season onwards with ‘Who?’

However, we can reveal that the reason Sauber decided to take him on again is because the team are keen on picking up the YouTube sponsorship, previously on its way to USF1 and while there are no recorded sightings of de la Rosa on the Internet, Heidfeld is in fact, a YouTube legend.

A team spokesman said, “Nick has done it all, crazy dancing,singing, picking fights with blameless people, crashing into parked cars and he even once said ‘wankings’ live on the BBC, we just had to have him back”.

Here just for you is a selection of Heidfeld’s best moments enjoy…

Hungary, Friday: Sauber discover why Kobayashi is off the pace

Hungary, Friday: Sauber discover why Kobayashi is off the pace

Sauber have discovered why Kamui Kobayashi trailed behind Pedro de la Rosa in practice, with this slice of cake reckoned to be costing him around seven tenths per lap.

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Sauber sign Paul the Psychic Octopus

Sauber sign Paul the Psychic Octopus

Following a rather lacklustre British Grand Prix the Sauber team have reportedly sacked Pedro de la Rosa and have replaced him with Paul the Psychic Octopus.

The talented mollusc has now finished his stint predicting results for the football World… Cup and is due to have a seat fitting at Hinwil next week and should be in the car for the German Grand Prix in just under two weeks time.

A spokesman for the team said; “We think it’s a win-win situation. Paul is immensely popular in Germany so may attract a sponsor, we could do with at least one, and he’s plainly on a winning streak so we hope he’ll bring a bit of that to the team”.

He added, “Paul is a bit of an unknown quantity when it comes to racing an F1 car but if it doesn’t work out with him then it’s not a  problem, Kamui Kobayashi is one mean sushi chef, so we’ll just eat him.”

Pedro de la Paella

Pedro de la Paella

Spanish veteran, Pedro de la Rosa, may have felt that after such a long career in F1 it was time he had a portrait done but he probably hoped for one that would last more than a day and one… that did not smell of fish.

The Sauber plodder was presented on Friday with a paella featuring an image of what was supposed to be his face. The paella was created by some local fans and presented to de la Rosa in the team motorhome. His hair and eyes are created with mussels while his lips and ears are made from prawns. Lovely.

The regional dish, a paella de marisco, starts out with an impressive list of ingredients and is full of promise but in the end turns out to resemble a dogs dinner.

A bit like Sauber’s season really.

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You want fries with that?

You want fries with that?

While Sauber are grateful for a sponsor at last, Pedro de la Rosa is far from happy at how Burger King want the car to look.

Sauber bring in some Swiss know-how to improve Malaysian performance

Sauber bring in some Swiss know-how to improve Malaysian performance

As they were unlikely to do anything remotely interesting this weekend, F1’s most anonymous team, Sauber, have decided to exert some pressure on their under-performing drivers, while at the same time embracing Easter and race a car made of chocolate.

Posh… Swiss chocolate company, Lindt, are said to be involved in the project and are working on a high tech mix that should cope with the Malaysian heat, although the car must be driven quickly to avoid melting, thus ensuring Pedro de la Rosa and Kamui Kobayashi actually feel the need to get a bit of a move on.

 

Help the Aged warn of current F1 trend

Help the Aged warn of current F1 trend

With F1 drivers, Michael Schumacher, Rubens Barrichello and Pedro de la Rosa having a combined age that nearly matches that of Bernie Ecclestone, the old folk’s charity, Help the Aged, have warned that measures need to be in place to… look after senior drivers.

Spokesman, Andrew Davies, said that while it was good to see the elderly put to good use there has to be allowances for them. Mr Davies said; “The F1 paddock is going to have to get used to having people around who cannot decide where to park, assuming they found their car keys in the first place, queues at the paddock turnstile while they fumble in a bag for their pass and the conversation on the drivers parade will switch from supermodels and yachts to the weather and how much more expensive everything is these days”.

Measures being considered include a stairlift up to the podium, fur-lined, zip up Sparco race shoes and longer pit stops for drivers needing a nap during races.

Festival of Noise!

Festival of Noise!
  • This years Goodwood Festival of Speed was once again a cracking event, though not so for an elderly couple from Chichester, who having popped out to go to the nearby Waitrose store, found themselves in the queue for the Festival before… being safely marshalled, some 2 hours later, into a corner of one of Lord March’s fields. It then took them another 2 hours to extricate themselves and return home. They were not best pleased.

 

  • There had to be some irony as the racing car made out of fruit and veg (see our report) conked out directly outside the ‘Eat Fat Pig’ food stall before starting it’s run up the drive. The driveshaft, the only piece of the car not from an organic source, was the only bit that broke. Sadly, it was probably the most important bit…
  • The only thing worse than the carrot car was the abysmal Life 190 F1 car, which in it’s day never got past pre-qualifying. The car, bizarrely entered in the ‘High Tech F1 cars’ group managed to come down the hill well enough but it’s two attempts to go back up failed to last more than a few metres. At least it was consistent in it’s awfulness…
  • The machine of the weekend was not, oddly enough a car, but the monstrous RAF Typhoon (Eurofighter) which makes a sound like continents colliding. The display was breathtaking as every person without exception stopped to watch. However, this was all happening at the same time as World Rally Champion, Sebastien Loeb, started his ascent of the hill in his Citroen C4 WRC, performing wild doughnuts without seeming to stop going forwards. It was something of an achievement to be able to watch what was going on in the air and on the ground at the same time but boy was it worth the effort.
  • For reasons that were never really made clear, much fuss was made of Hollywood actor, Peter Fonda, riding a motorbike up the hill (celebrating the anniversary of one of his few films apparently) but at least it did give commentator, Marcus Pye, the chance to use the ’here comes Peter with his big chopper’ line, much to the amusement of all teenage boys present.
  • F1 teams were a little thinner on the ground this year, but this was more than made up by the determination of Red Bull’s Mark Webber and Toyota’s Timo Glock, both seemingly intent on getting through as many sets of tyres as possible with huge burnouts off the line and doughnuts aplenty. Even the normally placid Pedro de la Rosa, made a plea to the organisers for more space for such antics next year.

Bring it on…

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