Posts Tagged ‘Nelson Piquet’

Brazilian black magic sent into reverse!

On Sunday, a Brazilian driver was beaten at Interlagos to the world title by an Englishman, finishing in fifth place in car number 22, which was powered by a Mercedes engine – for the second year running. The chances of… that are about as remote as Nelson Piquet jnr winning the BBC Sports Personality of the year award and it has had statisticians trying to work out how it could have happened.

However, Grand Prix Diary has been contacted by a modern day witch, a Ms Sam Parker of the Stroud (Gloucestershire) Coven, who reports that a reverse spell she placed on Jenson Button was responsible for the spooky victory. Said Ms Parker, “Last year at Interlagos, a comedian threw a toy black cat at Lewis Hamilton to bring him bad luck and it very nearly worked. I had a feeling that something similar would be tried on Jenson so I put a spell reverser on him.”

Sure enough, the same comedian, who must be about the most unpopular man in Brazil right now, engineered a stunt that saw Jenson walk under a ladder.

Ms Parkers spell worked and the rest is history - as are Brazilian comedy acts at Grand Prix.

Wednesday, October 21st, 2009
Tags: BBC Sports Personality Of The Year, Brazilian Grand Prix, Interlagos, Jenson Button, Mercedes, Nelson Piquet
Posted in Brazil F1 | Brazilian black magic sent into reverse!

Whining Brazilian playboy set to take on the good ole boys

According to Brazilian telly station, Globo, disgraced ex-F1 plodder, Nelson Piquet jnr, is set to try his luck in NASCAR. Piquet is said to have a test set for October 12 with the Red Horse team who run a Toyota… in something called the Camping World Truck Series. Sounds great.

Should all go well, and who is to say it won’t, Nelsinho aims to progress to the Sprint Cup series by 2012. As the video clip below shows, NASCAR truck racing involves plenty of crashes. Piquet should feel right at home.

Monday, October 5th, 2009
Tags: Brazilian, Nascar, Nelsinho, Nelson Piquet, Toyota
Posted in TEAMS AND DRIVERS | Whining Brazilian playboy set to take on the good ole boys

Kubica falls off the back of a lorry

According to Auto und Sport magazine, BMW Sauber’s Japanese Grand Prix weekend has not got off to a good start, after a delivery truck on its way to the paddock managed to clip a low bridge, dumping eight engines on the ground.

BMW… boss, Mario Theissen, said “It was the worst damage to F1 equipment that we’ve ever seen.” Obviously he’s never had Nelson Piquet jnr on the payroll.

In a cruel coincidence, another truck delivering Robert Kubica to the paddock, also managed to drop him, with the Pole landing flat on his face from a height of ten feet. Initial observations were that the results were something of an improvement.

Thursday, October 1st, 2009
Tags: Auto und Sport, BMW Sauber, Japanese Grand Prix, Mario Theissen, Nelson Piquet, Robert Kubica
Posted in BMW Sauber, Japan F1 | Kubica falls off the back of a lorry

Nelson gets a new drive!

The room may look like a crash scene but at least Nelson can’t get up to much trouble here…

nelson-gets-a-drive1

Wednesday, September 23rd, 2009
Tags: Nelson Piquet
Posted in TEAMS AND DRIVERS | Nelson gets a new drive!

Exclusive – Briatore plans Moon Grand Prix

Banned for the rest of his natural life (if you can call his daily existence that) from going within 10 miles of an FIA sanctioned event, Flavio Briatore has come up with an audacious plan to get back into top… flight motorsport – a race in space.

The extravagant Italian cheat, has decided to hold a Grand Prix on the Moon in 2015, with plans for other Solar System events due to be announced.

The first ever lunar race will take in such sights as The Sea of Tranquility and Neil Armstrong’s flag. Travel costs are expected to be an issue but the event is set to be one of the safest on the calendar as even Nelson Piquet jnr will struggle to cause much damage in such a vast, barren and gravity free environment.

Tuesday, September 22nd, 2009
Tags: cheat, FIA, Flavio Briatore, Nelson Piquet
Posted in TEAMS AND DRIVERS | Exclusive – Briatore plans Moon Grand Prix

First F1 got S & M now its M & S…

Last year, courtesy of Max Mosley and his five feisty lady friends, we had S & M in Formula 1, now, thanks to McLaren and Lewis Hamilton, we have M & S, with the launch of the ‘Living the Dream’ clothing range… for boys.

Marks and Spencer, purveyors of fine sandwiches and undergarments to the ladies of middle England, are not the sort of company to sell any old tat, so the garment line dreamed up by Marks and Sparks with McLarens’s people over a sushi power lunch in Kensington are sure to be a hit.

Meanwhile however, the Nelson Piquet jnr range for ‘George at Asda’ has had to be shelved, following a suspicious accident when a trolley mysteriously crashed in aisle fourteen of the frozen foods department.

Sunday, September 20th, 2009
Tags: F1, Lewis Hamilton, Max Mosley, McLaren-2009, Nelson Piquet
Posted in McLaren-2009, TEAMS AND DRIVERS | First F1 got S & M now its M & S…

Not Strictly Formula One

F1 fans are, for yet another year, disappointed that there is no Formula One representative in the new series of Strictly Come Dancing, which kicks off this weekend.

Despite there being a plethora of ex-drivers available, not one has been picked… leaving us with an intensely annoying cricketer, some TV presenters and a smattering of B-list soap opera stars.

However, our source at the BBC tells us that they did invite Nelson Piquet, seeing as he had some spare time on his hands, but had to turn him away from the dancefloor after they heard he planned to add an extra, illegal step into his rumba to help a competitor gain an advantage.

(Given all the legals flying around at the moment, now might be a good time to remind you that just about everything on Grand Prix Diary is made up and should not be taken seriously)

Wednesday, September 16th, 2009
Tags: BBC, Nelson Piquet
Posted in TEAMS AND DRIVERS | Not Strictly Formula One

The F1 Lonely Hearts Column

Brazilian guy, 24, NGSOH, seeks sympathy and cuddles. By own admission, a fragile and emotional person, who has had to had to put up with a domineering relationship for the last two years where I was made to do things that weren’t… right. We broke up suddenly in the summer because I was unable to perform because of the stress. If you take me on you have to take my father too. RSVP PO Box 3221, Sao Paulo, Brazil.

Italian man, 38, recently broken up with long term girlfriend after very short marriage, when she ran off with a man with better prospects. Looking for somebody who is not expecting much in return. PO Box 2728, Maranello, Italy.

Irish TV commentator, 61, seeks attention every two weeks. I say what I like and like what I say. I have an aversion to battery based energy recovery systems and tall Scottish men. Want to run your fingers through my hair? Let me put it on then. Photo’s to PO Box 37, Dublin, Ireland.

Thursday, September 10th, 2009
Tags: Brazilian, Eddie Jordan, Luca Badoer, Maranello, Nelson Piquet
Posted in TEAMS AND DRIVERS | The F1 Lonely Hearts Column

Posts Tagged ‘Nelson Piquet’

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