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Posts Tagged ‘Michael Schumacher’

Michael Schumacher wins something!

Michael Schumacher wins something!

Despite having had a pretty anonymous year behind the wheel in F1, Michael Schumacher has apparently done enough to warrant being given the ‘German Man of the Year’ award by GQ Magazine.

Schumacher picked up the trophy, the only one he… has been near all year, at a glittering ceremony in Berlin last night.

However, there were some who thought that if anybody deserved the award it should be Red Bull’s young charger Sebastian Vettel but the GQ judges were keen to justify their decision.

Said one; “Schumacher is definitely a GQ type, he is in his forties, married with children and drives a company Mercedes – not very quickly” He went on, “However, Vettel is really more of a ‘Loaded’ kind of guy and he doesn’t have a dinner suit so we could not choose him”.

We are sure that the fact that Mercedes sponsored the ceremony had NOTHING to do with Schumacher winning the award.

Schumachers people are happy again

Schumachers people are happy again

At Monza, Michael Schumacher’s Manager, Bank Manager and Accountant are all having a good time.

schumachers-people-happy2

Schumacher in apology shock!

Schumacher in apology shock!

One day after saying, that attempting to blend Rubens Barrichello into becoming a permanent part of the Hungaroring pit wall, was ‘part of F1’ Michael Schumacher concedes that he might have gone a bit far and has issued an apology… to the Brazilian.

It’s hardly a fulsome, teary, box-of-tissues-required kind of apology but for Michael Schumacher, it is something of a revelation.

Having heard that the German had come over all contrite, several other F1 drivers who have been given the Schuey squeeze over the years, were on tenterhooks by their telephones last night.

However, Messrs Hill, Villeneuve, Frentzen, Hakkinen and Coulthard (amongst many others) were warned not to hold their breath, as one apology in 19 years does not bode well for a repeat anytime soon..

Damon Hill wanted book thrown at Michael Schumacher

Damon Hill wanted book thrown at Michael Schumacher

Reports from Monaco suggest that Michael Schumacher was very lucky to only get a twenty second penalty for his illegal move on Fernando Alonso at the final corner of Sunday’s Grand Prix.

Race steward, Damon Hill, pushed hard for much sterner… penalties including a custodial sentence for the German, for what he might have called a ‘typically underhand action’ although we cannot be sure he even thought of saying that.

Apart from the Alonso move, Damon allegedly also asked for several other offences he saw over the weekend to be considered:

On many occasions the Mercedes driver was seen driving at 150 mph on Monte Carlo roads, most of which have a maximum speed limit of 30 mph.

Schumacher was also cited by Hill for not using his indicators or for slowing at pedestrian crossings.

Hill added that Schumacher’s misdemeanors where not confined to his driving but there were also offences in the paddock, where he said he saw him wearing ‘silvery clothes’ and  heard him talking with ‘a distinct German accent’.

The other stewards managed to convince Hill to ‘let it go’ and apart from the crime of overtaking another driver, all other charges were dropped.

 

Michael puts in a classic Schumacher drive, unfortunately it’s a classic Ralf Schumacher drive.

Michael puts in a classic Schumacher drive, unfortunately it’s a classic Ralf Schumacher drive.

Spectators at the Australian Grand Prix were confused today, after having seen Michael Schumacher plod around at the back of the field, stuck behind Jaime Alguersuari for half an hour, only waking up two laps from the flag for a fine sprint to… tenth place. It was only when somebody pointed out that nobody had seen Schumacher with his helmet off all weekend that the horrible truth dawned, that the driver behind the wheel of the Mercedes was in fact his brother, Ralf.

A source close to the popular but not very gifted German said; “Yes, it’s true, Ralf drove in Melbourne as a favour for Michael.” He went on, “Corinna had a load of stuff that needed doing around the house, jobs Michael had been promising to do all winter and he was really getting it in the ear, so he had to ask Ralf to help out.”

Michael is expected to be back behind the wheel for the Malaysian Grand Prix should he finish clearing the gutters and cleaning the windows in time.

The Return of Ralf

The Return of Ralf

There was unbridled joy in the Valencia paddock yesterday and amongst F1 journalists and autograph hunting fans worldwide, when the news broke that Ralf Schumacher is on the verge of returning to the grid.

Stefan GP, who seem to have done… everything else sensibly so far, seem to have had some sort of odd moment in thinking that Kazuki Nakajima and Ralf Schumacher would make a good driver pairing.

At these stage this is all just rumour but Ralf is apparently keen on a return to F1 from the DTM graveyard, having seen how well brother Michael’s comeback is going.

Just goes to show you can’t keep a good man down – or a bad one for that matter.

Nico who?

Nico who?

Stuttgart, Monday. Police were called to the Mercedes launch today after reports of an unidentified man pestering journalists to ask him a question.

Help the Aged warn of current F1 trend

Help the Aged warn of current F1 trend

With F1 drivers, Michael Schumacher, Rubens Barrichello and Pedro de la Rosa having a combined age that nearly matches that of Bernie Ecclestone, the old folk’s charity, Help the Aged, have warned that measures need to be in place to… look after senior drivers.

Spokesman, Andrew Davies, said that while it was good to see the elderly put to good use there has to be allowances for them. Mr Davies said; “The F1 paddock is going to have to get used to having people around who cannot decide where to park, assuming they found their car keys in the first place, queues at the paddock turnstile while they fumble in a bag for their pass and the conversation on the drivers parade will switch from supermodels and yachts to the weather and how much more expensive everything is these days”.

Measures being considered include a stairlift up to the podium, fur-lined, zip up Sparco race shoes and longer pit stops for drivers needing a nap during races.

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