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Posts Tagged ‘Luca Badoer’

The F1 Lonely Hearts Column

The F1 Lonely Hearts Column

Brazilian guy, 24, NGSOH, seeks sympathy and cuddles. By own admission, a fragile and emotional person, who has had to had to put up with a domineering relationship for the last two years where I was made to do things that weren’t… right. We broke up suddenly in the summer because I was unable to perform because of the stress. If you take me on you have to take my father too. RSVP PO Box 3221, Sao Paulo, Brazil.

Italian man, 38, recently broken up with long term girlfriend after very short marriage, when she ran off with a man with better prospects. Looking for somebody who is not expecting much in return. PO Box 2728, Maranello, Italy.

Irish TV commentator, 61, seeks attention every two weeks. I say what I like and like what I say. I have an aversion to battery based energy recovery systems and tall Scottish men. Want to run your fingers through my hair? Let me put it on then. Photo’s to PO Box 37, Dublin, Ireland.

 

Fisichella talks to Badoer

Fisichella talks to Badoer

“Look, you’ve had your go, now get the hell out of my car”

fisico1

Badoer IS Bristol bound!

Badoer IS Bristol bound!

Mere hours after we reported that English football club, Bristol Rovers, were keen to sign Luca Badoer, the hapless Italian was let go by Ferrari - to be replaced by a much better Italian. Badoer, now with not much to do… at the weekends, is reported to be keener than ever on the move to the League One outfit.

A source close to the team said, “Luca Badoer is not very quick, a bit old, hopeless at taking corners and a bit shirty with the press but as he has an interesting foreign name I think he’ll fit in perfectly”

Badoer has already viewed several apartments in the upmarket Clifton area of the town with a view to making the move in time for the team’s home game against Brighton on the 26th of September.

Badoer to join Bristol Rovers?

Badoer to join Bristol Rovers?

On hearing the news that Toro Rosso reject, Sebastien Bourdais, is to drive in the Superleague Formula for Spanish football club FC Sevilla, Luca Badoer is reported to be keen on a seat for himself should things continue to go… tits up at Ferrari.

Superleague, for those unlucky not to have seen it, is where football clubs, including giants such as Liverpool, AC Milan and Rangers, stop kicking lumps out of each other on the pitch and do it on the track instead.

According to a plainly deluded Bourdais, “Superleague is the best alternative to F1, it’s the only other championship in Europe to offer a driver the possibility of racing single seaters at a high, professional level”

So, we’ll ignore GP2 for starters then.

Badoer has allegedly been sounded out by Scunthorpe United and Swansea City though Bristol Rovers are thought to be the Italian drivers first choice.

This years most premature fashion accessory

This years most premature fashion accessory

Schuey fans, here is where you can buy your own ‘Schumi Comeback 2009’ cap. The same people have already made 40,000 ‘Piss off Luca - Go Fisi’ caps for Monza – let’s hope they get it right this time.

schumi1

Badoer begged by team not to make any pit stops at Spa

Badoer begged by team not to make any pit stops at Spa

Luca Badoer, who has recently committed more motoring offences than George Michael, has been instructed by Ferrari to take a radical approach to the Belgian Grand Prix - by running on a zero stop strategy.

At the Valencia race, Luca was… done four times for speeding in the pitlane, he managed to get overtaken by another car, in the pitlane and then got penalised for crossing the white line exiting, you guessed it, the pitlane.  As if that wasn’t enough, he also managed to pile into Adrian Sutil’s stationary Force India…in the pitlane.

The team have therefore decided that as he is so slow on the track he is not a danger to anybody there, but keeping him away from the pitlane is definately a very good idea.

 

Ferrari name 21 candidates for Monza

Ferrari name 21 candidates for Monza

Despite enduring the season from hell and having the modern day equivalent of Taki Inoue in one of their cars, Ferrari have at least managed to retain a sense of humour. With every man and his dog after Luca Badoers… drive for the Monza race, Ferrari have published the list of drivers they have been linked with, although they eerily say they have not included “some suggestions from the afterworld”. Here we go…

A as in Fernando Alonso

B as in Jules Bianchi, Mirko Bortolotti and Sebastien Bourdais

C as in David Coulthard

D as in Anthony Davidson

F as in Giancarlo Fisichella and Luca Filippi

G as in Marc Gené

H as in Nico Hulkenberg

K as in Robert Kubica

L as in André Lotterer and Vitantonio Liuzzi

P as in Nelson Piquet (Jr.) and Giorgio Pantano

R as in Valentino Rossi and Davide Rigon

S as in Takuma Sato and Bruno Senna

T as in Jarno Trulli

V as in Jos Verstappen

So, no Michael Schumacher then?

 

Ferrari historian finds help for Badoer

Ferrari historian finds help for Badoer

Ferrari team historian, Dr Luigi Calzone, has discovered a 40 year old secret that may help Luca Badoer qualify at least eighteenth for the upcoming Belgian Grand Prix. Dr Calzone has discovered that there is an access road linking Pouhon and… Blanchimont that is privately owned by Ferrari.  

 

The road, which could shave up to 12 seconds off Badoer’s lap time, was built in 1969 on the orders of Enzo Ferrari, who liked to do track inspections but often could not be arsed to go all the way round. The other teams are expected to protest but the road is part of the circuit so there is probably very little they can do about it.

 

NB: Somebody who shall remain nameless, who clearly has a lot of spare time on his hands, has pointed out to me that Pouhon did not exist in 1969.

 

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