With Jean Todt installed as the new President of the FIA and Michael Schumacher likely to be his F1 Commissioner, the rest of the team start to move in..
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Posts Tagged ‘FIA’
Hail to the Chief - Ari Vatanen compares himself to Barack Obama
While his opponent to be the next FIA President, Jean Todt, has already chosen the wallpaper for his new office, Ari Vatanen is doing a Gordon Brown, in trying to convince anybody who will listen that he can still win… the election.
Ari told the Guardian newspaper, “This is a Barack Obama thing happening, we believe we have the votes already, the tide has turned.”
Once in office, Ari has promised that as soon as he has whipped (that word again) the teams into line that he will then sort out the global economic crisis and bring peace to Afghanistan and Iraq, while Mrs Vatanen just wishes he’d stop the ‘bumping fists’ thing.
Boring man ends boring run
The quiet man of F1, Nick Heidfeld (you know the guy, funny voice, silly sunglasses, big beard, drives for BMW?) was so angry on Sunday after Adrian Sutil punted him out of the Singapore Grand Prix, that he very nearly… raised his voice a semi-octave and some observers thought they saw him move an eyebrow.
Heidfeld, who had been in F1 for three years before anybody even noticed he was there, was on course for his forty second consecutive race finish when Sutil cut up his BMW (now there’s a nice change) ending both of their races.
Nick, positively fuming, said that he thought that in addition to giving his countryman a $20,000 fine, officials should also give him a brain.
He is assuming of course that the FIA have any spare brains, which given the events of the last week or so, has to be deemed unlikely.
Exclusive – Briatore plans Moon Grand Prix
Banned for the rest of his natural life (if you can call his daily existence that) from going within 10 miles of an FIA sanctioned event, Flavio Briatore has come up with an audacious plan to get back into top… flight motorsport – a race in space.
The extravagant Italian cheat, has decided to hold a Grand Prix on the Moon in 2015, with plans for other Solar System events due to be announced.
The first ever lunar race will take in such sights as The Sea of Tranquility and Neil Armstrong’s flag. Travel costs are expected to be an issue but the event is set to be one of the safest on the calendar as even Nelson Piquet jnr will struggle to cause much damage in such a vast, barren and gravity free environment.
F1 teams in new conspiracy shock
F1’s teams are embroiled in a new conspiracy that has been going on since the start of the season but which only came to light during the Italian Grand Prix weekend. BBC bosses have for some time, been mystified as… to why teams fire up their engines just as soon as the trio of Jake Humphrey, David Coulthard and Eddie Jordan start a piece to camera in front of a garage.
Now, a disgruntled mechanic, recently fired from a top team, has spilt the beans saying that there is a ‘gentlemans agreement’ to start the engines and rev the living daylights out of them, as soon as Eddie Jordan is spotted with a microphone in his hand. The mechanic said; “The boys have been driven to distraction by Eddie’s inane and confused ramblings and when he decided to start involving himself in technical matters we just had to stop him”
The FIA are examining a dossier on the affair but are unlikely to take any action, with one source describing it as “A bloody good idea”.
We think the FIA might spot this one…
It may be simple and effective but we think the FIA might notice this…
Now Renaults ‘illegal’ orders to Alonso revealed
As if they did not have enough on their plate already, what with the small matter of the FIA’s investigation into what they did (or didn’t) get up to at last years Singapore Grand Prix, Renault are now in even… more hot water. During the ING Renault Roadshow in Fernando Alonso’s hometown of Oviedo, the team allegedy instructed their No 1 driver to break a number of traffic laws.
A road safety expert, Dr Andrew Davies (left) says that video footage shows Alonso doing 90mph in a 30 zone, going through two sets of red lights, crossing the solid line in the middle of the road and not stopping at any of the zebra crossings.
Dr Davies is to present his findings to the FIA today who will add them to the big book they plan to throw at Renault on the 21st of September.
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Ferrari – more drivers than sense….
As is so often the case at Ferrari, the team seems to have more drivers on its books than it has seats available. Rumours persist, that despite having Kimi Raikkonen and Felipe Massa contracted for 2010, they have also signed… Fernando Alonso and are keen on having Michael Schumacher joining in too. Can anybody at that team count?
So, four into two does not go but the solution is simple. Ask their good mates at the FIA to allow them to run a third car for Schuey and (if you believe the Italian press) pay Kimi Raikkonen £12 million to naff off and go rallying.
Now, where do they put Valentino Rossi….?
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