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Posts Tagged ‘European Grand Prix’

FOTA finds way to INSTANTLY cut emissions

FOTA finds way to INSTANTLY cut emissions

In order to keep placard waving beardies happy, the Formula One Teams Association has vowed to cut unwanted emissions by 15% over the next three years.

For a group of people who frequently cross the planet to thrash 24 cars around… at about two miles per gallon each, this seemed a tricky task until somebody suggested disconnecting Fernando Alonso’s radio.

Researchers found that during the European Grand Prix, Alonso’s incessant bleating and whinging on the pit to car radio accounted for an astonishing 9% of all unwanted emissions over the weekend, which equalled the output of a small power station.

By stopping the Spaniard from using the radio during races, FOTA now expect to be able to meet their target, in fact if they cut Lewis Hamilton off too it should be a doddle.

European Grand Prix puts man to sleep

European Grand Prix puts man to sleep

A London man today awoke from a 19 year coma to find the European Grand Prix on the television. He watched for half an hour before begging to be put under again.

 

Badoer makes history in Spain

Badoer makes history in Spain

Michael Schumacher thought he held all of the records at Ferrari but today Luca Badoer found one of his own, by becoming the only driver for the Scuderia in 59 years to qualify last for a Grand Prix. Ooops.

 

Buemi has a close shave

Buemi has a close shave

Valencia. While Romain Grosjean is about to debut the worst hairstyle in F1 since Minardi mop top, Fabrizio Barbazza, gave us the wild man look in 1993, spare a thought for Toro Rosso star Sebastien Buemi, who due to a… misunderstanding with his barber is now incapable of a hairdo of any sort.

Buemi visited a barbershop near the team factory in Faenza on Tuesday for a quick tidy up, but translation problems with the snipper resulted in a scalping that means that he’ll have to keep his noddle covered all weekend or face breaking out the factor 60.

Could be just the one weekend he does not want to get on the podium…

 

Badoer sets fastest time in Valencia Friday practice!

Badoer sets fastest time in Valencia Friday practice!

Sadly he was in the pitlane at the time and he did it four times - landing him with a £4,500 fine – coincidentally what Ferrari are paying him for the weekend. Easy come, easy go.

 

 

Bet on Badoer!

Bet on Badoer!

He may not have started an F1 race since 1973 but punters may be well advised to have a bet on Luca Badoer winning the European Grand Prix as the odds on the tiny Italian test hack are currently a… tempting 25/1.

Odds this generous on a driver from the Scuderia to win a Grand Prix have not been seen since 1992, when Ivan Capelli stepped into the F92A, probably the worst Ferrari of all time, so a few quid on Luca in a much better motor might be a good idea.

Mind you, the bookies also have Rubens Barrichello on the same odds for a win which must cheer him up no end…

 

 

 

Schumacher return off – Belgian GP organisers piss themselves laughing

Schumacher return off – Belgian GP organisers piss themselves laughing

The news that Michael Schumacher’s dodgy neck means he will not be taking part in the European Grand Prix is a massive blow to Ferrari and F1, though organisers of the Belgian Grand Prix have yet to stop laughing.

Because of… the recession, tickets for the Spa round had been selling very slowly - until the announcement of Schuey’s return saw the remaining 30,000 tickets snapped up at the rate of one sale per minute.

Now, in place of seeing the great man, thousands of German fans will instead cross the border to watch an ex Minardi and Forti journeyman instead.

Refunds are not apparently on the cards…

 

Schu wants to be a millionaire - again?

Schu wants to be a millionaire - again?

He may have trousered around £600 million during his time in F1 but as a retired person even Michael Schumacher must be grateful for the top up in petty cash being provided for his comeback by Ferrari.

Schuey is reported to… be receiving £850,000 per race, with a double-your-money rate to £1.7 million for a win.  Add this to the £3 million per year Ferrari already give him for decorating the pitwall and the estimated £30 million he still gets in sponsorship deals then you have to admit, maybe retirement isn’t such a bad thing after all…

 

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