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Posts Tagged ‘David Coulthard’

Your starter for ten - Vijay’s University Challenge

Your starter for ten - Vijay's University Challenge

Following in the footsteps of David Coulthard, who made an appearance last month, Force India boss, Dr Vijay Mallya, is to address the Oxford University Student Union on the 5th of March.

Let’s hope his chosen topic is not accountancy.

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F1 teams in new conspiracy shock

F1 teams in new conspiracy shock

F1’s teams are embroiled in a new conspiracy that has been going on since the start of the season but which only came to light during the Italian Grand Prix weekend. BBC bosses have for some time, been mystified as… to why teams fire up their engines just as soon as the trio of Jake Humphrey, David Coulthard and Eddie Jordan start a piece to camera in front of a garage.

Now, a disgruntled mechanic, recently fired from a top team, has spilt the beans saying that there is a ‘gentlemans agreement’ to start the engines and rev the living daylights out of them, as soon as Eddie Jordan is spotted with a microphone in his hand. The mechanic said; “The boys have been driven to distraction by Eddie’s inane and confused ramblings and when he decided to start involving himself in technical matters we just had to stop him”

The FIA are examining a dossier on the affair but are unlikely to take any action, with one source describing it as “A bloody good idea”.

 

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Ferrari name 21 candidates for Monza

Ferrari name 21 candidates for Monza

Despite enduring the season from hell and having the modern day equivalent of Taki Inoue in one of their cars, Ferrari have at least managed to retain a sense of humour. With every man and his dog after Luca Badoers… drive for the Monza race, Ferrari have published the list of drivers they have been linked with, although they eerily say they have not included “some suggestions from the afterworld”. Here we go…

A as in Fernando Alonso

B as in Jules Bianchi, Mirko Bortolotti and Sebastien Bourdais

C as in David Coulthard

D as in Anthony Davidson

F as in Giancarlo Fisichella and Luca Filippi

G as in Marc Gené

H as in Nico Hulkenberg

K as in Robert Kubica

L as in André Lotterer and Vitantonio Liuzzi

P as in Nelson Piquet (Jr.) and Giorgio Pantano

R as in Valentino Rossi and Davide Rigon

S as in Takuma Sato and Bruno Senna

T as in Jarno Trulli

V as in Jos Verstappen

So, no Michael Schumacher then?

 

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Eddie Jordan in wrist watch worry…

Eddie Jordan in wrist watch worry...

 

Concern has been expressed in the F1 paddock for the health of Eddie Jordan, following the news that his wrist watch now weighs in excess of 5 kilos and that the stress of lifting up the microphone to bicker pointlessly… with David Coulthard could lead to irreparable upper arm damage.

For much of the season EJ has decided to dress like a handsomely paid deck hand with a well glued on hairdo, but it is the ever increasing size of his watch (seen here in a relatively sensible size in Melbourne) that has people worried.

Said one source close to the Beeb; “The watch just gets bigger at each race, during the Hungarian GP weekend his right hand was dragging on the ground – if it goes on like this, by the time we get to Abu Dhabi it will be the size of a grandfather clock.”

 

 

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Coulthard has a hotel in Monaco - Button has a pub in Frome..

Coulthard has a hotel in Monaco - Button has a pub in Frome..

 

There is jumping on the bandwagon and then there is ‘The Frome Flyer’ pub, on Jenson Avenue in Frome, Somerset. In case you didn’t know, Frome is hometown to Jenson Button, in much the same way that Stevenage is… proud to claim Lewis Hamilton as one of its own, despite the fact that these two choose to live in Monaco and Switzerland instead.

The Flyer is one of those pubs that has been unfortunate enough to have a budget hotel clamped onto it in an attempt to survive but according to an entry on the Real Ale Hunter website it is still a tavern worth a visit.

Said one customer; “The meals were good and at very reasonable prices. I had a pint of Butcombe Gold which was on form and then I finished with the guest beer which was Wadsworth 6X”.

Exciting stuff eh?

Note: We did consider using a picture of ‘The Frome Flyer’ but it is drab beyond belief, so here is a picture of Jennifer Ellison with a pint of beer – what more could you ask for?

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Get fit with Eddie

Get fit with Eddie

Istanbul Park, Saturday. Former team boss and personal irritant to David Coulthard, Eddie Jordan, today announced that the two most unfit drivers he ever employed were Giancarlo Fisichella and Eddie Irvine.

According to EJ, Irvine (left) often struggled to make… it to the door, though thankfully he did finally manage to reach it and escape to a life of luxury with Ferrari and Jaguar, before retiring to spend more time with his money.

Jordan, who had no less than 30 drivers race for him in F1, must know his stuff (his BBC colleague, Jake Humphrey, does remind us of this a lot) but EJ’s comments on fitness may have been ill advised, as during a walk up the pitlane with Jake and Coulthard, Eddie was out of puff by the time they got to the Red Bull pit and when the trio reached Renault, he was well and truly knackered - but was still expected to interview Flavio Briatore.

Eddie then posed a long, breathless, question to Flavio that would have had an asthmatic reaching for his inhaler but with Briatore being in one of his totally incomprehensible moods, nobody was any the wiser.

No change there then.

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