British Grand Prix | Grand Prix Diary

Ron Dennis to get long overdue knighthood

After spending decades at the top of Formula One, Ron Dennis is finally going to receive his much deserved knighthood but it will be for services to television, not motorsport.

According to Buckingham Palace (pictured left, yesterday) Her Majesty The Queen… was getting more and more annoyed last Sunday, that her enjoyment of watching the British Grand Prix was being spoilt by Eddie Jordan in full Jeremy Paxman mode, badgering Christian Horner for no apparent reason.

Her Majesty was close to switching off, when Ron snuck up behind Jordan and deftly cut his headset wires, rendering him speechless, making it impossible for the Irishman to ask Horner the same question for a seventh time.

Dennis is due at the Palace for a special investiture next month.

If you want to see Ron’s heroic deed (for UK viewers only) snipping EJ’s earphones, check this at around 2:31.30 http://tinyurl.com/37nh349

To see a proper interviewer in action, watch this……

Sauber sign Paul the Psychic Octopus

Following a rather lacklustre British Grand Prix the Sauber team have reportedly sacked Pedro de la Rosa and have replaced him with Paul the Psychic Octopus.

The talented mollusc has now finished his stint predicting results for the football World… Cup and is due to have a seat fitting at Hinwil next week and should be in the car for the German Grand Prix in just under two weeks time.

A spokesman for the team said; “We think it’s a win-win situation. Paul is immensely popular in Germany so may attract a sponsor, we could do with at least one, and he’s plainly on a winning streak so we hope he’ll bring a bit of that to the team”.

He added, “Paul is a bit of an unknown quantity when it comes to racing an F1 car but if it doesn’t work out with him then it’s not a problem, Kamui Kobayashi is one mean sushi chef, so we’ll just eat him.”

Eddie Irvine changes his tune and goes green

One man not at the British Grand Prix was Eddie Irvine, one time Ferrari driver and former Man Friday to Michael Schumacher, who is reportedly about to adopt a Robinson Crusoe lifestyle and live on a desert island in the… Bahamas.

The only difference between Irvine and Crusoe is that the Irishman owns his island, having shelled out £1 million for it and is the only known castaway with a private jet.

Irvine, who was once F1’s playboy in residence, is apparently inspired to adopt the simple life by his worry for the planet and ‘green issues’ when before, the only green issue he was worried about was how bloody slow his Jaguar was. He has sold his fleet of sportscars and is even considering getting rid of his yacht, one thing we would have thought handy if you live on an island.

In an article in The Belfast Telegraph, Eddie says; “I will make as small a footprint as possible (a bit late for that surely) and I won’t even have a generator on the island, I will be frugal and I won’t be eating much steak that’s for sure.”

Irvine goes on; “We are going to have to get clever and that is why Formula One is not my passion anymore because it ain’t clever”

Hmmm. Not quite what he said when he was announced as the host of the LG Grand Prix Show on Talksport radio a little while back when he said; “Although I’m no longer part of the paddock, I am still very passionate about Formula One.”

Confused? You should be…

Ten things you did not know, or care, about Sakon Yamamoto

Sakon Yamamoto has been called up to drive for the HRT squad at the British Grand Prix in place of the dropped Bruno Senna but what do we know about the Japanese star?

We spent a good ten minutes on Wikipedia before… we got bored and this is what we found out, so here are ten must know Sakon stats for you to savour.

Apart from being a Grand Prix driver, Sakon is also a much in demand club DJ. Quite possibly, though we cannot be sure, his favourite tune to slap on the decks is the medically creepy song ‘Turning Japanese’ by The Vapors.
In 2006 Nick Heidfeld called him a ‘Vanker’ when he mistook him for fellow countryman and mobile chicane, Takuma Sato.
The reason HRT signed Sakon up as a test driver at the beginning of this year was, and we quote; “So he could help Hispania develop the car” It had nothing whatsoever to do with money. Not at all.
The reason HRT dropped Bruno Senna on the eve of the British Grand Prix was because they thought he deserved a go and might be quite good. It had nothing whatsoever to do with money. Not at all.
Sakon is a big Harry Potter fan, actually we don’t know that for sure but he should be, as his hometown of Toyohashi is the base of the fictional Quidditch team, the Toyohashi Tengu.
Yamamoto’s surname is nearly the same as Yamato, the great World War Two Japanese battleship . The Yamato was moderately fast but unpredictable in the way it steered and had the capability of causing great damage to anything within it’s range. A bit like Yamamoto really.

Sorry, that’s only six facts of interest and we struggled getting that many as the inclusion of the Harry Potter one shows.

Donington to snatch Grand Prix back!

In a shock move, Donington Park have announced that they plan to secure a 17 year deal to run the British Grand Prix from 2028.

The press release does not give any details as to how the venture will be funded… but we are promised an “exciting and innovative debenture scheme or something.”

Meanwhile back at Silverstone, the BRDC issued their own statement which said; “Ha,ha,ha,ha,ha!”

Donington Park finds £140 million - just in time

The future of the British Grand Prix seemed to have been saved (again) following an excited telephone call from Donington Park to Bernie Ecclestone yesterday evening, in which it was announced that the required funding had been found under the… Dunlop Bridge.

Workers digging out a new access tunnel found a big pirates chest stuffed with £140 million in treasure. Further good news came when the builders were replaced by a friendly ogre and his woodland friends who magically transformed the circuit into a top class F1 venue, where customers would be instantly transported in and out, in giant hollowed out pumpkins pulled by four white horses.

Oh hang on, it’s all been just one big fairytale all along…

Silverstone is not the only saviour for the British Grand Prix

F1 has an impressive list of glamorous venues, Monaco, Singapore and Monza to name but three but now you can now add one more. Glasgow. Paul Morrison, a Scot who puts on the ‘F1 Rocks’ concerts has told the ‘Daily… Record’ that he is trying to convince Bernie Ecclestone he needs a Scottish GP, and with Donington hanging in the balance, now could be the time.

Morrison says; “We have the roads for it” (which you have to admit is a start) before he rather confidently predicts “We will see a Formula One race in Scotland, certainly within the next decade.”

The venue of choice would appear to be Glasgow. A quick look at the map over a pint of McEwans, shows that a circuit could be knocked up quickly, with a route taking on the boy racers along the Clydeside Expressway, before returning for a blast down Argyle Street finishing on the Govan Road.

Finishing in Govan (pictured) is a brave choice but business analysts say it would be good for the area, possibly doubling the number of people in employment from two to four.

Posts Tagged ‘British Grand Prix’