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Posts Tagged ‘Bernie Ecclestone’

Bernie comes up with radical plan to get all teams (apart from Virgin) out of China

Bernie comes up with radical plan to get all teams (apart from Virgin) out of China

With their cars currently stuck in Shanghai because of the Icelandic volcano and its big ash cloud, the F1 teams have agreed to take part in a race that will not only provide excellent competition but at the same time… get them back to Europe.

Bernie Ecclestone has come up with a one-off Asian Grand Prix, running from Shanghai to Athens, using the 7,000km Silk Road. Despite initial concerns over tyre wear, the teams have agreed to contest the race which will start on Wednesday and is due to last until Friday night or a week next Thursday for the HRT squad.

The route which is mostly desert, goes from China, through an awful lot of countries wth names ending in ‘stan’ before pitching up in Greece, where a ferry will be waiting to take the cars to Barcelona.

The only team expecting problems are Virgin, who reckon that their fuel tank will only see them as far as the Shanghai ring road.

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Yet another Campos buyout?

Yet another Campos buyout?

 

With everybody from Flavio Briatore, Bernie Ecclestone, Volkswagen and those loudmouth’s from Serbia reported to be buying Campos, we can today reveal that the beleaguered Spanish team has been saved.

Again.

A consortium lead by British aristocrat Lord Lucan (pictured) who has not been since 1974 and Shergar, the missing racehorse, with financial backing from the fabled, undersea city of Atlantis promise to get the team on the Bahrain grid with a car built from kryptonite.

Bernie Ecclestone on 2010 - video

Bernie Ecclestone on 2010 - video

From the team that brought you the US F1 story (see ‘Letter from America’) it’s Tailenders and Martin Brundle interviews Bernie Ecclestone.

Ducati deny taking on a pay rider

Ducati deny taking on a pay rider

At the launch of their 2010 team, Ducati deny that their latest signing has been taken on because of money rather than talent.

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Short man proposes short cuts

Short man proposes short cuts

Bernie Ecclestone has come up with an idea that may well revolutionise F1 with the suggestion that drivers should be allowed to take up to five shortcuts per race, to overcome the problem of the lack of overtaking.

While some including anybody… in a white coat, have their doubts, the idea has been warmly received at Silverstone. A spokesman for the track said today; “We have heard that Jarno Trulli has reacted to Bernies idea by saying that F1 is not a game but we think he is wrong and that this is just what the sport needs”.

He went on; “We plan to incorporate this idea into our new track by creating a huge snakes and ladders set that will cover the entire circuit, where drivers can not only go up the ladder, gaining many places, they can also slide down snakes if they get too far ahead”.

Other plans that involve converting the glass BRDC HQ into a giant Ker-Plunk set and creating a two acre Monopoly board behind the paddock are being considered.

Bernie Ecclestone discovers new art talent

Bernie Ecclestone discovers new art talent

Debra Murphy of Class 4, St Ethel’s Junior School, Swindon, is suddenly in demand from people wanting portraits that bear no resemblance to themselves, following her recent commission to do Bernie Ecclestone’s 2009 christmas card.

Debra, 14, was chosen from a… shortlist of four very bad artists to produce the card depicting Max Mosley, BMW’s Mario Theissen and Toyota’s John Howett sailing away in a yacht. She was going to include the Bridgestone boss but could not recall his name let alone what he looked like.

The boat-load sailing away from F1 are waved off by the remaining team bosses with Bernie watching from the lifeguard station, while for some reason Flavio Briatore prepares to launch a rocket attack from a nearby rowing boat.

For good measure there are sharks circling and F1 cars racing in the distance.

We don’t know what Debra is on but we’d certainly like some of it to get Christmas going…

 

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Silverstone is not the only saviour for the British Grand Prix

Silverstone is not the only saviour for the British Grand Prix

F1 has an impressive list of glamorous venues, Monaco, Singapore and Monza to name but three but now you can now add one more. Glasgow. Paul Morrison, a Scot who puts on the ‘F1 Rocks’ concerts has told the ‘Daily… Record’ that he is trying to convince Bernie Ecclestone he needs a Scottish GP, and with Donington hanging in the balance, now could be the time.

Morrison says; “We have the roads for it” (which you have to admit is a start) before he rather confidently predicts “We will see a Formula One race in Scotland, certainly within the next decade.”

The venue of choice would appear to be Glasgow. A quick look at the map over a pint of McEwans, shows that a circuit could be knocked up quickly, with a route taking on the boy racers along the Clydeside Expressway, before returning for a blast down Argyle Street finishing on the Govan Road.

Finishing in Govan (pictured) is a brave choice but business analysts say it would be good for the area, possibly doubling the number of people in employment from two to four.

Red Bull Dog

Red Bull Dog

Red Bull boss, Christian Horner, has revealed that he has two West Highland terriers, one called Bernie and the other Flav. We assume if Christian had a Whippet he’d have to call it Max.

 

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