grandprix 2011 calendar  27/03       Australia  10/04       Malaysia  17/04       China  08/05       Turkey  22/05       Spain  29/05       Monaco  12/06       Canada  26/06       Europe  10/07       Britain  24/07       Germany  31/07       Hungary  28/08       Belgium  11/09       Italy  25/09       Singapore  09/10       Japan  16/10       Korea  30/10       India  13/11       Abu Dhabi  27/11       Brazil  2010       Archive
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Brazil F1

Liuzzi chases down Brazilian bandit

Liuzzi chases down Brazilian bandit

When you travel to Brazil you should do so in the knowledge that it’s a fairly safe bet that you could be robbed, kidnapped or murdered. Sometimes all three. However you wouldn’t expect it to happen while you are in… the process of qualifying for the Brazilian Grand Prix.

While some F1 personnel were mugged on the way from the airport to the Interlagos circuit, Force India’s Tonio Liuzzi had to contend with a would-be-robber, just minutes after he had crashed out at turn one while attempting to qualify for Sunday’s race.

While the Italian was busy picking bits of carbon fibre from his beard, a track marshall decided to leg it with his steering wheel before being nabbed by a quick witted Liuzzi.

However, a sense of public duty does not come into it as Force India’s drivers are under strict instructions to look after the €30,000 piece of kit.

“The team has said to me, no matter what happens, never let the steering wheel leave your hands.”

Regular Highway Code stuff then.

Brazilian black magic sent into reverse!

Brazilian black magic sent into reverse!

On Sunday, a Brazilian driver was beaten at Interlagos to the world title by an Englishman, finishing in fifth place in car number 22, which was powered by a Mercedes engine – for the second year running. The chances of… that are about as remote as Nelson Piquet jnr winning the BBC Sports Personality of the year award and it has had statisticians trying to work out how it could have happened.

However, Grand Prix Diary has been contacted by a modern day witch, a Ms Sam Parker of the Stroud (Gloucestershire) Coven, who reports that a reverse spell she placed on Jenson Button was responsible for the spooky victory. Said Ms Parker, “Last year at Interlagos, a  comedian threw a toy black cat at Lewis Hamilton to bring him bad luck and it very nearly worked. I had a feeling that something similar would be tried on Jenson so I put a spell reverser on him.”

Sure enough, the same comedian, who must be about the most unpopular man in Brazil right now, engineered a stunt that saw Jenson walk under a ladder.

Ms Parkers spell worked and the rest is history - as are Brazilian comedy acts at Grand Prix.

Honda’s $400 million F1 blunder

Honda's $400 million F1 blunder

Following the excitement surrounding the Brawn GP title double at Interlagos on Sunday, spare a thought for poor old Honda, who during 2009 alone, have seen $400 million worth of F1 cash slip through their fingers.

Firstly they decide to bail… out of F1 and give the team to Ross Brawn, gratis, along with $100 million to sort out redundancies and to pay off contracts. Other expenses involved in closing down the operation at such short notice are reckoned to be in the region of $50 million.

Now, just to cheer up Honda even further, media analysts, Margaux Matrix, say that the nine hours of TV coverage that F1 has provided Brawn with this year, is worth at least another $250 million.

Nice one Honda, nice one…

Street parties break out across Somerset

Street parties break out across Somerset

Joyous crowds burst out onto the streets of Somerset last night as Jenson Button finally won the world championship he seemed to have lost interest in last July. Reports from Button’s hometown of Frome, tell of up to six people… out celebrating the news.

Said one partygoer; “As soon as Jenson crossed the line at Interlagos we got the trestle table and sausage rolls out which we normally keep for royal jubilee’s, the end of wars and the like.”

He went on; “Here in Somerset we generally couldn’t give a monkeys about F1, it’s all a bit high falutin for us but even though he never comes here and lives in Monaco, we’re going to crack open the cider and have a big party.”

The scenes are reminiscent of 2008, when Hertfordshire dump Stevenage, went Hamilton crazy for all of about five minutes before the novelty wore off.

Jenson to race for rubbish in Brazil

Jenson to race for rubbish in Brazil

Jenson Button has vowed to go for the win in Brazil (makes a nice change) as he seeks to finally close out the F1 title. However, should he win then he will be presented with a trophy made from old… plastic bottle caps.

For reasons unknown, the Brazilian chemical company Braskem is collecting discarded bottle caps during the course of the weekend which they intend to melt down and then make into the winners trophy. Apt really, that in a city surrounded by hundreds of open rubbish dumps and shanty towns that they should celebrate their main event of the year with a piece of crap.

 

Tycoon in transatlantic dash

Tycoon in transatlantic dash

On hearing that Jenson Button has left Jessica Michibata alone in London, Sir Richard Branson jumps on the first flight home.

Has Nico never been to Brazil?

Has Nico never been to Brazil?

In what looks like a desperate attempt to spend the advertising budget before the year end, Williams sponsor, Philips (Brazil division) have launched a competition on Twitter called ‘Follow the helmet’. Sounds like a stag party game to us. Anyway… the story being played out at Twitter.com/NicoRosberg16 is that hapless pup, Nico Rosberg has lost his helmet in Brazil.

In a video, which looks like it was filmed by hostage takers, Nico gives an Oscar winning performance appealing to the Brazilian people to help find and return this ‘valuable helmet’. Plainly Rosberg is not familiar with the way things work in Brazil, where people have been known to lose all four wheels off their car while stopping at traffic lights, so the chances of somebody handing in a £10,000 helmet must be slim at best.

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