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18 April – China

Rubens grabs first Williams win for nearly six years!

Rubens grabs first Williams win for nearly six years!

Williams F1 driver, Rubens Barrichello, is reported to be delighted after winning the first race for the team since Juan Pablo Montoya’s victory at the Brazilian Grand Prix in 2004.

After four days, the results of the first Volcano Grand Prix… are in, with Barrichello being the first driver to get back home, arriving in Sao Paulo in a time of 25 hrs, 14 mins, 3.15 secs.

The Brazilian veteran finished a considerable way ahead of second placed Jaime Alguersuari who took 40 hrs, 19 mins, 8.98 secs to get back to Barcelona and third placed Mark Webber who took 44hrs, 5 mins, 9.88 secs to get the key in the door of his Oxford home.

Barrichello put his win down to an ash-avoiding one stop strategy with Emirates Airlines while Alguersuari and Webber both made upwards of five stops each.

Many other drivers are still en-route while some did not even make the start, preferring instead to relax on a Thai beach with a Japanese lingerie model.

Bernie comes up with radical plan to get all teams (apart from Virgin) out of China

Bernie comes up with radical plan to get all teams (apart from Virgin) out of China

With their cars currently stuck in Shanghai because of the Icelandic volcano and its big ash cloud, the F1 teams have agreed to take part in a race that will not only provide excellent competition but at the same time… get them back to Europe.

Bernie Ecclestone has come up with a one-off Asian Grand Prix, running from Shanghai to Athens, using the 7,000km Silk Road. Despite initial concerns over tyre wear, the teams have agreed to contest the race which will start on Wednesday and is due to last until Friday night or a week next Thursday for the HRT squad.

The route which is mostly desert, goes from China, through an awful lot of countries wth names ending in ‘stan’ before pitching up in Greece, where a ferry will be waiting to take the cars to Barcelona.

The only team expecting problems are Virgin, who reckon that their fuel tank will only see them as far as the Shanghai ring road.

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Chandhok must start Chinese Grand Prix from car park

Chandhok must start Chinese Grand Prix from car park

Due to an issue with his team looking at (or looking for) his car’s gearbox on Friday night, Karun Chandhok has been handed a five place drop on the grid for Sundays race.

However as he qualified dead last anyway, officials… felt that the punishment could not be served so they have insisted that the popular Indian starts from the circuit car park.

However, the other drivers were not happy, saying that the grip in the car park was actually quite good, so Karun now has to start in the women’s parking section (left), meaning he is likely to get stuck behind a lady attempting to get a Nissan Micra into a spot the size of an aircraft hangar as the lights go out for the race start.

Jenson has a China crisis

Jenson has a China crisis

Jenson Button wishes he hadn’t taken on Lewis Hamilton in the ‘all the food you can eat’ competition at one of Shanghai’s less recommended eateries..

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Did Flavio scupper Eddie’s flight?

Did Flavio scupper Eddie's flight?

Rumours that the cloud of ash currently covering the UK, were caused by Flavio Briatore knocking over an ash tray are believed to be false. However, the cancellation of all flights means that Eddie Jordan has not yet been able… to make it to China, so if he did do it, then the ex-Renault boss deserves a bit of credit - for causing an accident that had a good result for once.

Karun Chandhok has China in his hands…

Karun Chandhok has China in his hands...

 

Not much worries Karun Chandhok, which given the dreadful car he has to drive every other weekend is a good thing, so when he was told that Twitter was banned in China he still took along his trusty Blackberry in… the hope of keeping his loyal army of followers up to date with the weekend’s happenings.

Thankfully Karun was met at the airport by ‘three very sweet people’ who told him how to get around the ban (the Chinese authorities have probably had them shot by now) and since then he has been sought out by many members of the paddock to make sure they can still send their Tweets from Shanghai.

Chandhok has already been busy, musing on everything from how awful Shanghai airport is, to the horrendous decor of local restaurants and their puny portions, accompanied by a picture of team mate Bruno Senna looking ready to throw up.

If they let him back in next year it will be nothing short of a miracle.

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Ferrari’s Shanghai Surprise

Ferrari's Shanghai Surprise

A source close to the Ferrari F1 team has today said that the team may take advantage of the fact that teams will not be penalised for missing the first three races of the season by electing to start their… 2010 campaign from the Chinese Grand Prix onwards.

The rule was brought in to allow no-hopers like Campos and US F1 until April to announce their withdrawal from the sport but keen eyed Ferrari management see an advantage for their team.

Said our source; “From testing results it is pretty clear that Ferrari will win the championship very easily anyway, so even if they miss Bahrain, Australia and Malaysia they should still have both titles sewn up by the Japanese Grand Prix in early October so what is the point going to those horrid places and getting the cars all dusty and mucky?”

Rumours that McLaren and Mercedes also can’t be arsed to turn up until Shanghai have yet to be confirmed.

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