Renault-2010

Vladimir is Putin his foot down!

Russia’s Prime Minister and the hardest world leader around, Vladimir Putin, has wrestled polar bears, fought with sharks and he eats live piranha’s for lunch. So what macho challenge could be next for the ex-KGB judo black belt?

Well, wonder no… more, as after seeing his fellow countryman, Vitaly Petrov, make a bit of an arse of himself in F1, Putin told Renault that he would be one of the team’s drivers for 2011.

Renault did initially put up a bit of an argument but following a nasty moment with an ice pick, the team agreed to take Vladimir on.

Putin, (for some reason driving a car with rear tyres on all four corners), made a good showing of himself at a track outside St. Petersburg yesterday clocking up 89 laps with a top speed of 240 kph.

Putin is expected to make an appearance it the Abu Dhabi test later this week while Petrov is expected to take up residence in Siberia imminently.

Monday, November 8th, 2010
Tags: Renault, Vitaly Petrov
Posted in Renault-2010 | Vladimir is Putin his foot down!

Renault tester Baguette doesn’t have the bread

While any other driver on the hunt for an F1 drive, would jump at the chance of joining in the season end F1 test in Abu Dhabi, Renault World Series champion, Bertrand Baguette appears not to be using his loaf… and is not going.

Baguette, who last year tested for Renault and Sauber, appears, at just 24 years of age, to have toasted his F1 chances by refusing to “spend money on something that may not lead to anything”. The Belgian has decided instead to earn his crust racing in Indycar instead, robbing F1 headline writers of the chance to pepper their stories with jokes poking fun at his name.

Sorry, apart from Bernie Ecclestone calling the new F1 teams ‘cripples’ its been a very slow news day and we just wanted to see how many bread puns we could get in one story.

Monday, November 1st, 2010
Posted in Renault-2010 | Renault tester Baguette doesn’t have the bread

Raikkonen’s Renault Effect

The news that Kimi Raikkonen will not be joining the Renault F1 team next year has not gone down well with the French companies car dealers.

Wolverhampton dealer, Darren Owens, 43, told us yesterday that since the news of Raikkonen’s possible… move broke last week, interest has increased considerably, with one couple expressing an interest in a Modus and one man even taking away a leaflet on the Twingo.

Said Owens; “Shifting cars in the recession is not easy, it’s even more difficult when those cars are Renault’s so we need all the help we can get and the prospect of Kimi being a Renault driver was very exciting.”

He added, “We have had posters up around the place of Robert Kubica and Vitaly Petrov and frankly Petrov looks like a zombie, which tends to put people off, while Kubica’s fizzog scares small children, at least Kimi is bearable to look at.”

“We are all very dissapointed.”

Thursday, October 7th, 2010
Tags: Kimi Raikkonen, Renault, Robert Kubica, Vitaly Petrov
Posted in Renault-2010 | Raikkonen’s Renault Effect

Vitaly Petrov is a VERY naughty boy

While most eyes at the German Grand Prix were on the Ferrari duo spoiling the race up at the front, one driver a bit further down the road was having more than enough troubles of his own.

Renault’s Vitaly Petrov was… doing his usual job, tooling around somewhere outside the top ten, when he received a stern telling off from his team, handily broadcast to tens of millions of TV viewers.

Vitaly was told; “You MUST concentrate on shifting early to seventh gear, you must do this PROPERLY Vitaly, if you don’t we will have to turn your revs down and there will be NO television before you go to bed tonight”.

After the race Petrov was sent out the back of the garage and made to sit on the naughty step to think about what a really bad little boy he had been.

Still, he probably got off lightly compared to HRT plodder, Sakon Yamamoto, who according to some reports started the race with his pitlane limiter on and then ended his day by hitting the fire switch rather than the brake bias, which cut all power to the engine.

And they hired him for performance reasons?

(UK viewers, to hear Vitaly getting a good telling off, click here, and go to 2:14.03)

Monday, July 26th, 2010
Tags: German Grand Prix, HRT, Renault, Sakon Yamamoto, Vitaly Petrov
Posted in 25 July – Germany, Renault-2010 | Vitaly Petrov is a VERY naughty boy

Petrov too porky for points?

According to Germany’s ‘Auto Motor und Sport’ magazine, Renault’s Vitaly Petrov has been told to lose weight. Although Petrov is about the same height as team mate Robert Kubica, he is about 10 kilos heavier, which costs him about three… tenths of a second per lap. Renault were not too fussed about this until they received a copy of a video (see below) of a typical Petrov family meal and decided that action had to be taken before an expensive reshape of the R30 would be called for. A team insider said that Vitaly had been told to go to the gym and train until he ‘hit the wall’.

Good sentiment but maybe an unfortunate choice of words for a Renault driver?

With help on the Pukka Pies front from @f1wired

Thursday, April 8th, 2010
Tags: Pukka Pies, Renault, Robert Kubica, Vitaly Petrov
Posted in Renault-2010 | Petrov too porky for points?

Renault employ minder to keep an eye on Petrov.

BBC viewers were surprised to see legendary James Bond villain, Rosa Klebb, on the Melbourne grid, guarding fellow Russian, Vitaly Petrov.

Klebb, the star of ‘From Russia with Love’, was asked by a brave Martin Brundle if he could have a… chat with Vitaly in the absence of any proper drivers to interview, to which she agreed with quick flick of the head.

Colonel Klebb has been brought in by Renault to keep Petrov company on his long trips away from the Motherland. However, team staff were concerned to see her putting her poison-tipped knife shoes on after she saw her young charge carelessly bin his car in the gravel trap on lap 18

Sunday, March 28th, 2010
Tags: Martin Brundle, Renault, Vitaly Petrov
Posted in 28 March – Australia, Renault-2010 | Renault employ minder to keep an eye on Petrov.

Renault solves sponsorship shortfall – by sponsoring itself.

Renault have announced that one of the big blank spaces on their car, left vacant after the crashgate scandal, will finally have a sponsor on it. DIAC, who specialise in car finance, will appear on the sidepods of the R30… from this weekend’s Grand Prix until the Turkish round at the end of May. DIAC are a subsidiary of RCI Banque who in turn are wholly owned by Renault.

So we have a company giving its money to a bank who then give it to a finance company who then give it back to the original company. How all of this benefits anybody is a mystery but at least it fills an embarrassing void on the car.

Maybe someone should tip Sauber off with this great idea.

Wednesday, March 24th, 2010
Tags: Australian Grand Prix, Renault
Posted in 28 March – Australia, Renault-2010 | Renault solves sponsorship shortfall – by sponsoring itself.

Bahrain, Thursday: Ryanair to sponsor Kubica?

While most F1 drivers were soaking up the sun in Bahrain today, Robert Kubica was not having such a good time. He departed as planned from Warsaw to Bahrain but had to change ‘planes in Florence and finally ended up… in Dubai. Minus his luggage.

Still, when he replaces Felipe Massa at Ferrari next year at least he’ll be able to afford a private jet…

Wednesday, March 10th, 2010
Tags: Robert Kubica
Posted in 14 March – Bahrain, Renault-2010 | Bahrain, Thursday: Ryanair to sponsor Kubica?

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