Archive for June, 2009

Wacko Jacko starts smacko..

June 25th, Miami. He may have wanted to spread peace and love during his life, but the news of Michael Jackson’s passing managed to spark a punch up instead.

On hearing of the news via a text message while on a Florida bus, passenger James Kiernan announced what had happened to all on board, prompting the driver, to retort that “Michael Jackson should have been in jail long ago”

Kiernan, 60, was none too pleased with this and shouted at the driver that Jackson was “the greatest entertainer in the world” before starting to dance in the aisle.

This prompted another mentalist on the bus, one Henry Wideman, to launch at Mr Kiernan with a great big hunting knife as the whole thing descended into a very ugly riot.

This time, you really can blame it on the boogie….

Monday, June 29th, 2009
Tags: Global News Diary - Non-F1 news from around the world
Posted in Global News Diary - Non-F1 news from around the world | Wacko Jacko starts smacko..

World of Sport – Who ate all the pies?

28 June, Burnley, England. For reasons that are not made clear, Burnley Football Club’s manager, Owen Coyle, has been immortalised in pastry by a local baker. Prudence Staite (an anagram surely?) has previously created a bust of lumpy DJ Chris Moyles… out of dough and once remodelled The Pope using a pizza base. She also produced a portrait of Jeremy Clarkson from a tin of baked beans.

Somebody has too much time on their hands…

Monday, June 29th, 2009
Tags: WORLD OF SPORT - Non F1 news from around the world
Posted in WORLD OF SPORT - Non F1 news from around the world | World of Sport – Who ate all the pies?

Schumacher’s a diamond geezer!

Swiss diamond company, Augensterns, are spending the next three months creating a diamond from a lock of Michael Schumachers hair. The sample from Schumacher was first incinerated to provide carbon, then cleaned to remove impurities such as remnants of shampoo, before undergoing a long process to create the gem.

The manager of Augensterns, Rinaldo Willy (no childish comments please) said, “We specialise in producing synthetic diamonds from people’s hair, we believe that if someone wants to make a personal gift, there’s nothing better than giving a piece of himself.” Creepy. Rumours that another firm are working on a lock of Ralf Schumachers hair, to produce a cubic zirconia version for a chain of discount jewellery stores, are believed to be wide of the mark.

Saturday, June 27th, 2009
Tags: Michael Schumacher, Ralf Schumacher
Posted in TEAMS AND DRIVERS | Schumacher’s a diamond geezer!

Kimi pips Valentino and Lewis in wonga chart

If the global economic crisis as getting you down and the worry of debt is keeping you awake at night, then a quick read of Forbes Magazine’s 2009 Rich List should cheer you up. While you may have to sell… a kidney just to fill the car up, it is reassuring to know that our celebrities and sportsmen are still coining it in at an impressive rate. The world of motorsport features well, with even office cleaners in the NASCAR series raking it in, but holding the side up for the Europeans is Lewis Hamiltion, who scraped by on $32 million last year, Moto GP main man, Valentino Rossi, made $35m with Kimi Raikkonen top of the pile, trousering an impressive $45m.

It’s difficult to know which is the most unbelievable, Kimi getting $45 million despite not winning a race for more than a year, or the fact that Forbes bracket him in the ‘athlete’ category…

Thursday, June 25th, 2009
Tags: Kimi Raikkonen, Lewis Hamilton, Moto GP, Nascar, Valentino Rossi
Posted in TEAMS AND DRIVERS | Kimi pips Valentino and Lewis in wonga chart

Credit crunch forces Schumacher to the rental market

After failing to find a buyer for his house in Gland, Switzerland, Michael Schumacher has been forced to advertise it for rental in the local paper, The Tribune de Geneve. The house has a cinema, gym, indoor and outdoor pools… stables, a guest house, garaging for six cars and a sodding great big lake. Still, there is no need to feel too sorry for Schuey as he’ll soon be knocking on the door, rent book in hand, to ask the tenants for a whopping £16,000 a month – plus utility bills.

Wednesday, June 24th, 2009
Tags: Michael Schumacher
Posted in TEAMS AND DRIVERS | Credit crunch forces Schumacher to the rental market

World of Sport - Football fever hits South Africa

25 June, Ellis Park, Johannesburg. With South Africa hosting the Fifa World Cup in 2010, football fever is already raging on the continent (along with lots of other types of fever) and tonight the national squad takes on the mighty Brazil in the… Confederations Cup semi-final.

Fans in even the remotest parts of the country want to make sure they don’t miss a moment of the game…

Wednesday, June 24th, 2009
Tags: WORLD OF SPORT - Non F1 news from around the world
Posted in TEAMS AND DRIVERS, WORLD OF SPORT - Non F1 news from around the world | World of Sport - Football fever hits South Africa

Look what you could’ve won…

According those who were there, one of the most memorable moments of the British Grand Prix weekend was a darts competition, which saw ‘Mr Darts’ himself, Bobby George, take on guests of the Force India team.

The evening was loosely based around… the 1980’s TV game show, ‘Bullseye’, in which hopeless inadequates would play each other at darts, either taking home around £40 in cash or a speedboat they could not possibly have any use for.

Force India’s credit-crunch beating hospitality was such a hit, that at the Nurburgring in three weeks time, you can expect to see a snooker tournament at McLaren, domino’s down at Renault and skittles at Toro Rosso.

Tuesday, June 23rd, 2009
Tags: British Grand Prix, Force India, McLaren-2009, Renault, Toro Rosso
Posted in Force India, Great Britain F1, TEAMS AND DRIVERS | Look what you could’ve won…

Schumacher gave up F1 for Curry!

On Sunday’s edition of ‘Top Gear’, Michael Schumacher revealed that he gave up F1 because he could no longer fight his craving for curry.

After he was unmasked as ‘The Stig’, the shows secretive resident race driver, Schuey confessed that the… strict dietary regime at Ferrari meant that the spicy stuff was permanently off the menu and after 15 years at the top he could no longer go without a ruby.

Rumours that Force India are attempting to sign him up for 2010, with a multi-million dollar contract and as much vindaloo as he can handle are believed to be wide of the mark.

Monday, June 22nd, 2009
Tags: Ferrari, Forc India, Michael Schumacher, The Stig, Top Gear
Posted in TEAMS AND DRIVERS | Schumacher gave up F1 for Curry!

Archive for June, 2009

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